Stepping Out From The Shadows

A Journey of Healing Through Community

I walk into a room of strangers.
I am welcomed.
I take my seat, listen, and nod knowingly.
When it is my turn, I speak what’s on my heart.
They listen patiently, compassionately, with unconditional regard, as I bumble my way through, my words sputtering through tears.
I am done. I pass.
The catharsis begins.

Last weekend I attended a retreat for people whose lives have been or are affected by someone else’s addiction.

I left the retreat with a car full of gifts: a full heart of compassion, healing, hope, meaningful connection, and sacred community, amongst many learnings.

Pulling aside the curtain of secrecy, I leave my isolation chamber and share my story, the truth of my experiences. Here I am not alone.
In this space where emotional safety is established through confidentiality and specific guidelines for engagement that protect everyone, we all share as comfortable, lean in, heal, and grow together.

What makes this type of gathering of community so powerful? For me, it’s about creating a safe space to share, which cultivates meaningful connection.

This brings me to another question: What is meaningful connection?

Transparency, authenticity, sharing real experiences with others without judgment, unconditional regard and support, and healthy boundaries.

I have no idea who the other participants are, and yet I KNOW them.
It doesn’t matter what roles you play, where you work, how educated you are or aren’t, or where you live. You strip yourself of your masks and enter as you are; with your pain, trauma, your skin raw and exposed.

I am simply another human being figuring things out alongside the others.
Here we support each other; we are invited to be accountable to ourselves and to the group.

I’m realizing that it’s not about the other person, the person with the addiction; it’s about me, and here I feel safe not to run from her.
To actually sit with her and to truly listen.

Secrets and shame have kept me hidden, behind the curtain. I step out to enter into light and love.
The group removes the feeling of isolation which so often accompanies the secret-keeping of addiction.

We human beings are here to be in tribes, in communication, not to do life in isolation. So much healing happens in community.