Floss First Or Brush First?

There are many ways to speak about empathy. I’m offering this: Empathy for another blossoms when listening deeply, with curiosity, without judgment.

Further, when empathy and curiosity meet, connection and intimacy are born, empathy & curiosity = connection & Intimacy.

Let’s explore…

I may not understand directly how you feel, for I may not have experienced what you have. Or, I may have experienced something similar, but my response was totally different than yours.

Here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that I hold space, witness, and acknowledge your experience; that I sit quietly where you are seated, breathe the same air, and affirm your feelings.

In order to do this, I need to suspend judgment about how you ‘should’ feel, and instead respond with deep curiosity about how you DO think and feel.

Curiosity trumps judgment. Sitting in judgment makes it nearly impossible to feel empathy or to connect with another person through their experience. Judgment separates, whereas empathy connects.

Empathy and curiosity woven together create a magical afghan warming you and inviting another in.

Try this simple, yet profound approach: Get curious about someone you care about - their behavior, their feelings, their words, their quiet times, their eccentricities. Judge none of it. Seek to understand everything about this person: from whether they floss before or after brushing their teeth, to what keeps them up at night, to their biggest fears, and most daring dreams.

Knowing these things increases intimacy through meaningful conversation and leads to profound connection. Taking the time to explore grows your empathy as a personal bonus!

Not sure that this exercise will make a difference in your relationships? Ask yourself how it feels when someone asks you about yourself, about what makes you tick and what upsets you, about your desperate struggles and your stirring victories, and they truly listen. How do you feel?

I challenge myself, and you, to strengthen empathy and curiosity in this way, and to simply notice what happens to our feelings of connectedness and intimacy.

Finally, do you floss your teeth before or after brushing? AND, what is the reason for your choice? :) 

I’d luv to hear from you.