My Commitment Ceremony
I wanted to make my 50th birthday a special celebration that felt authentic and meaningful. Newly divorced, for the second time, as well as recently parentless after my father’s passing, I was doing a ton of work on myself and healing.
It was also during the pandemic and so I couldn't do the popular 50th blowout party I had hoped for. I realized I could still celebrate and commemorate this birthday milestone in a memorable way and thought, what better way than to create a ceremony celebrating my return to myself and the beginning of the rest of my life? And so I began planning the components.
It occurred to me that we, as a society in general, put so much time, energy, and resources into marriage ceremonies when we make commitments to partners. What if I were to make commitments to myself as my partner? I mean, to really honor the most important relationship I have. What would that look like? What was most important to me? The answer was the fact that I was returning to myself.
I used the structure of traditional wedding ceremonies and went from there. The ceremony included readings that resonated with me, music, vows of commitments to myself, and then I added my own touches like a moment of silence to honor those passed and a meditation blessing as that is a practice that has become crucial to my well-being. I even had a ring ceremony with three bands representing first the beginning of the second half of my life, the middle place of my life, and marking an end to abandoning myself and conditionally living myself as well as all the ways which didn’t serve or honor me. I had planned on doing this by and for myself until I shared my plan with a few close contacts who immediately embraced me and the idea. What a perfect opportunity to be vulnerable, authentic, and to NOT play small. It became a day to not just receive but share.
Some tips for creating your own commitment ceremony:
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites with ceremony ideas out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident, and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
I am so grateful that a friend recorded my commitment ceremony and that I can share it with you below.
If you’d like to commemorate an occasion, milestone, situation in your life, please contact me and we’ll design it together.