Sustaining Luv
“The greatest defeat is not the end of a relationship…it’s the unwillingness to learn from it. Most love relationships end, yet the opportunities for growth live on. We have been conditioned to believe that endings are failures, but they are not. At this stage of human development, it’s all we can do to manage our own issues, let alone unite happily with another. We still have so much to learn about how to sustain love. The real victory is growing through the experience, clarifying and healing our issues, converting the unresolved material into the transformation at its heart. Relational success is not a tangible outcome- it’s a process of awakening- If the experience grew you, if it prepared you for a more heartfelt and awakened life, it was a true victory.” Jeff Brown
What a positive way to frame the end of relationships, AND, this makes me think of all the possibilities that are there for us when we are IN relationship. Sustaining love is one of the greatest practices that we humans uniquely have.
Relationships, while in them, provide fertile training ground for our own healing. When we are in a love relationship we can begin to see our blind spots bubble up. We get glimpses into the places in ourselves which need healing in order for us to increase our capacity to be with all the parts of ourselves…in order to grow ourselves to the point of luving ALL the parts of ourselves. We can then enter relationships with our whole selves, versus just the polished and protected versions of ourselves.
While in a love relationship, are you willing to view it as your classroom and the person, your teacher? Yes? Great, then read on…
The prerequisites for this class are:
Trust: First and foremost, in yourself, to be with whatever gets revealed in you, your wounds, your own blind spots.
Vulnerability: Are you open to being just 10% more vulnerable than you were before?
Authenticity: Can you show up as your true self? The shiny parts, the dull ones, and yes, the seemingly broken parts.
Accountability: Can you own your shit? Take full ownership over your impact on yourself, the other, and how you impact the relationship?
If so, watch how you will bloom into the most magnificent blossom that is you.
No matter what happens to the love relationship, you are grounded in your own knowing. You will continue to grow yourself, and the relationship, and thereafter.
Imagine how many more blossoms you will have to share with others!
Sustaining luv, begins with you and how your nourish your relationship with yourself.
