Release & Renew

A year and a half after my marital D-day— I welcomed the new year with a ritual I called Release & Renew. It was a ceremony to mark the beginning of a new chapter: Part Two of my healing journey, and a turning point in my relationship with myself.

I gathered a small circle of close friends. Together, we wrote down everything we were ready to release from the past year—or years: sorrows, regrets, shame, attachments, habits, and anything else we felt prepared to lay down.

For me, the list was long. To name just a few:

The illusions of the marriage I thought I had.
My attachment to the idea of a “perfect” marriage.
The shame that lived in me because of my husband's infidelity.
My addiction to controlling what was never mine to control.
Being responsible for others' feelings…

One by one, we fed our pages into the fire pit, watching the flames take hold, and the smoke carry our burdens skyward.

The glow of that fire ignited something in me—renewal, connection, and the faint but steady flicker of hope. Even without sharing the details of what I released, I felt deeply witnessed in both my pain and my healing. That ceremony was about beginning again. It was about calling in a new relationship with myself, and opening to what might still be possible in my life and in my relationships.

It became another step toward forgiveness—not only of my husband, but of myself. Forgiveness for all the ways I had depleted my spirit by ignoring my own feelings and needs.

That surrender allowed me to soften into reality rather than recoil from it. For those burning minutes, my anxiety and fear loosened their grip. And as the last embers glowed, I stepped into the new year carrying something new:

A spark of peace.